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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26141569">To think this all started with a sleepover</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huniebunnie/pseuds/Huniebunnie'>Huniebunnie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Park City’s Hero love lives [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>South Park</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cocky superheros, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Re-written like twice, Sexual Humor, South Park: The Fractured But Whole, Spiderman References, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, anger issues, ding dong the bitch is dead</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:48:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,642</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26141569</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huniebunnie/pseuds/Huniebunnie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyle admits a crush and ends up catching the eyes and hearts of the two most powerful Heroes in Park City.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kyle Broflovski/Kenny McCormick, Kyle Broflovski/Mysterion, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski/Toolshed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Park City’s Hero love lives [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1898302</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. T is for Trauma</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>o0o</p>
<p>“Here’s to high school ending!” Kenny held up a beer can.</p>
<p>Stan shook his head and laughed, “Cheers”</p>
<p>“Fuck you guys,” Cartman grumbled, “I’m stuck with Kahl for another year.”</p>
<p>“Speaking of that sweet snack, where is Kyle anyways?” Kenny smacked Stan’s arm playfully, “I thought he was coming over.”</p>
<p>“He is!” Stan shrugged violently, “He said he had shit to do first.”</p>
<p>“Probably had to deal with his whore of a mother” the brunette grimaced. </p>
<p>“Fuck off fatass!” The ginger stood in Cartman’s doorway, “Your mom is a crack-whore.”</p>
<p>Kenny chugged his beer, “Aye, if it ain’t my favorite snack.” he smiled.</p>
<p>Kyle glanced over the room and noticed everyone was drinking “You guys are so immature…” he rolled his eyes and walked out of the room.</p>
<p>Stan put his drink down and went after him, “Kyle wait!” He chose to ignore Cartman’s ‘homo’ remarks.</p>
<p>“What?” Kyle crossed his arms, rather annoyed by what he found. “I don’t wanna take care of you guys tonight. We were supposed to play video games and eat junk. I didn’t sign up for this.”</p>
<p>“We can still play games! We’re not even drunk, I swear you won’t have to take care of us.” Stan reasoned, but Kyle didn’t look convinced. “Please? Come on, I just graduated and I wanna celebrate with my favorite person.”</p>
<p>The redhead rolled his large golden eyes. “You’re drunk.”</p>
<p>“Kyle look at me” The raven grabbed his friend’s shoulders kinda aggressively making him wince, “Sorry, I forget my own strength sometimes.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Kyle nodded and showed Stan a small smile. </p>
<p>Stan smiled back, “I had one beer. I don’t plan on having anymore so let’s just go upstairs and kick Cartman’s ass at COD and watch him cry like a fat baby.” he knew he had Kyle now, he was his best friend after all.</p>
<p>Kyle grinned, Stan had him there. “Okay, lets kick some ass.”</p>
<p>“Sweet,” Stan fist-bumped the air then ran upstairs like a small child on Christmas morning.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Friendly competition</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cartman is salty and Stan is just bad at the game</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kyle jumped up in triumph, “Ha! Take that you fat fuck!” he danced around Cartman who was crying in defeat.</p><p>“My game was glitching!” The fat boy argued.</p><p>“We do this every time,” The tallest boy pinched the bridge of his slightly upturned nose. </p><p>Kenny sighed, “Eric accept that you lost, and give someone else a turn.” He scooped up the controller from the blubbering boy and pushed him out of the way so he could see the TV. “Stan? You gonna play your turn or am I gonna get my ass kicked by Kyle?”</p><p>“Haha” Stan rolled his eyes and Kyle handed him the controller. “Wish me luck?”</p><p>“You don’t need it.” Kyle snickered, “You’ll lose anyways.”</p><p>Stan scoffed, “Some best friend you are.”</p><p>“I’ll get you a CapriSun,” The redhead shrugged and walked over to the door. “Anyone want something?”</p><p>“Uhhh,” Kenny tried to concentrate on the game, “another beer would be great right now. Thanks babe.”</p><p>Cartman sniffled, “Cheesy poofs!” He received a dirty look from Kyle.</p><p>“Whatever assholes, I’ll be back.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s what Cartman’s dad said when he went out for milk,” Kenny laughed. “And he never came back.”</p><p>Stan bit down his laughter, “Hey, didn’t Cartman kill his dad?”</p><p>“Get the fuck out!” Cartman screamed. “Fuck you fags! Get out of mah house!”</p><p>“Oh come on, dude” “Admit it, it’s pretty fuckin’ funny”</p><p>“Yeah Cartman. You literally killed your dad after crying about him leaving you.” Stan lost then threw the controller while muttering, “Stupid games rigged.”</p><p>“I’m back, fuckers.” Kyle smiled then threw CapriSun at Stan’s head and a Cheesy poof box at Cartman’s face, “Kobe!”</p><p>“Ow! Son of a bitch!” Cartman sat up and glared, “That was on purpose!”</p><p>“Dude, of course it was. I said “Kobe!”.”</p><p>“Where’s mine?” Kenny pouted at the shortest boy.</p><p>“I don’t support alcohol. You know that.” He threw another CapriSun but Kenny caught it. </p><p>“At least put some Tequila in it…”</p><p>Stan groaned, annoyed with his friend’s antics, “Can we do something else? Like anything but COD games.”</p><p>“What about truth or dare?”</p><p>“Can you be anymore gay, Kahl?” Cartman gagged, “You probably wanna get dared to make out with us or some shit.”</p><p>Kenny smirked, “I wouldn’t mind a little action..”</p><p>“Knock it off.” Stan snapped, “I’m tired of you two bothering Kyle.”</p><p>Kyle smiled slightly at Stan, “We don’t have to play if you guys don’t want to. It was just something we haven’t done in awhile.”</p><p>“No it’s cool, we can play.” Stan stabbed the bottom of his CapriSun.</p><p>“Yeah. Anything is better than hearing Cartman cry one more time.”</p><p>“Um Stan?” Kyle looked at his best friend, “Why did you stab your straw into the bottom of your CapriSun like that?”</p><p>“Why?” Stan grinned, “Does it bother you?”</p><p>“No” Kyle grit through his teeth.</p><p>Cartman laughed, “It totally does!” </p><p>“Well yeah!” Kyle pointed, “It's unnecessary!”</p><p>“I’m glad that it bothers you, Ky. You threw it at my head and I lost!”</p><p>Kenny snickered, “Hey, it’s not Kyle‘s fault you suck ass.”</p><p>“Ooh! Poor-boy roasted you, Hippy. What’re you gonna do about it?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Funny story...I realised I posted the wrong chapter for the second one...I am so so sorry you guys were probably so confused.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. He actually fucking said it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>They played truth or dare</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I dare you to deepthroat one of your mom's dildos.” Kenny smirked at the fat boy.</p><p>“Aw!” Cartman screamed, “Kinny! We were gonna team up!”</p><p>Kenny shrugged. “I don’t work with Terrorists.”</p><p>“You have to do it Cartman. It’s your rules. Everyone has to answer the truths and do the dares.” Kyle sighed and laid on his stomach, bored with Fatass going back on his word. </p><p>“That’s gay! I don’t suck dick, unlike our homosexual-Jew friend over here.”</p><p>“Shut you fat fucking mouth Cartman and do the dare, or I swear I’ll shove that dildo down you throat myself!”</p><p>Stan put his hand over Kyle’s mouth, “We don’t need another noise complaint. Thanks.” he waited for the very angry huffs to go away before removing his hand. “You good?” The redhead nodded.</p><p>“Great now can we please fucking move on already?” Kenny glared at Cartman, “Just follow you own rules or admit to being the fattest fuck in the world.”</p><p>“No you guys, I can’t because I’m not fat.”</p><p>“Yes you are!” They all yelled.</p><p>“Fine!” Cartman snapped, “I’m fat.” He mumbled.</p><p>“Oh I’m sorry, we didn’t hear you. You’re what?” Kyle cupped his own ear. </p><p>Kenny and Stan snickered and glanced at each other.</p><p>Cartman sighed, “I said I’m fat.”</p><p>Kyle and Kenny burst with laughter and Stan laughed under his hand.</p><p>“It’s not that funny, you guys.”</p><p>“I’ve waited so long to hear you finally say that.” Kyle sang-song.</p><p>Stan looked over at Kyle and smiled to himself, his best friend acted like a cute little kid over nothing. </p><p>“Hey Stan, truth or dare?” Cartman smiled innocently. </p><p>“Truth, you’re not daring me to do shit.”</p><p>“Who do you like now that you and Wendy are officially over?” He didn’t care about Stan’s crush but he did care about Wendy’s. He’s had a crush on her since she kissed him at the debate all those years prior.</p><p>“I uhhh, no one in particular. I just wanna focus on my first year at NYU. I don’t wanna gain that freshman 15, ya’ know?” He shrugged, “Kenny, what about you?”</p><p>“I don’t have time for serious relationships. I have to get an apartment so I can get Karen outta my parent’s place.” Kenny pushed his hair out of his face, “Cartman?”</p><p>“Why the amazingly beautiful Wendy Testaburger.” Cartman batted his eyelashes dramatically. </p><p>Kyle started laughing and rolled on his back then held his stomach, “Jesus dude, you make her sound like a goddamned circus act!”</p><p>“Oh yeah? What about you, kike?” The fat boy asked, matter-of-factly.</p><p>Kyle felt a blush creep up on him, “No one. I don’t like anyone.” </p><p>“He totally does!” Kenny smirked and poked at Kyle’s stomach, “Who’s the lucky guy?” he wiggled his eyebrows and leaned over the shorter boy to freak him out.</p><p>Kyle backed up as far as he could away from Kenny and against Stan’s side. “You guys would laugh at me.”</p><p>“We already laugh at you,” Cartman snickered. “You’re an ugly, gay, Jew. There’s a lot to laugh at.”</p><p>“Shut up.” Kyle hid his face in his hands, and shook his head. “They don’t even know I exist.”</p><p>““They?” Is it the Sprouse Twins?”</p><p>“No but they are pretty cute.” Kyle smiled to himself and mumbled something they couldn’t understand.</p><p>“What?” Stan looked at Cartman then Kenny and back down at Kyle. “Who?”</p><p>Kyle sunk further against Stan and sighed, “I said I like Toolshed and Mysterion…”</p><p>Stan started coughing violently and tried to locate his bag while Kenny started laughing. Surprisingly Cartman was the only other quiet person besides Kyle. The redhead watched Kenny toss Stan his inhaler so he could take two puffs and clear his airways.</p><p>“Well what about The Coon?” Cartman finally spoke up.</p><p>Kyle looked over at him and laid on Stan’s lap. “He’s an awful person. He’s kidnapped me more times than I can count. He’s no hero. Toolshed saved me, he’s a hero.”</p><p>Stan and Kenny glanced at each other. </p><p>“And Mysterion’s voice is so attractive. He takes his job seriously and no one really knows anything about him. I love that about him but still fan-girl over Toolshed’s jokes and warm personality. He speaks to everyone like they’re his friends. They’re both so charming...” Kyle swooned.</p><p>Stan weezed in panic. His best friend is speaking so highly of him, but on the other hand he’s jealous of Kenny. He knows there’s no reason to be, Kyle will never know their hero identities. He looked over at Kenny who was already staring down at Kyle with a faint smile. Fuck no.</p><p>“That’s so gay!” Cartman laughed, “Do you dream of sucking their dicks too?”</p><p>Kyle scowled and sat up, “You know what? Yes. I do. I don’t mind being on my knees for good people. Fuck you guys. I didn’t even want to be here tonight.” He stood up and walked away, slamming both Cartman’s and the front door on the way out.</p><p>“I think I’m gonna go…” Kenny stood up and looked at Stan.</p><p>“Me too.” Stan jumped up and shoved his inhaler in his coat pocket. “Bye.”</p><p>“I was gonna kick you asshole’s out anyways.” Cartman huffed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Cartman admitted he was fat but at what cost? No one fucks with Eric Cartman.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. One mouthy MJ</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Drama, secrets and murder, hurrah</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Lmao sorry it took so long and sorry it sucks, I really tried to make it funny. </p><p>#badfanserviceonmypart</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kyle teared up when he finally parked in his driveway. He had said too much, everyone was uncomfortable because of him. “Fuck!” He smacked the steering wheel repeatedly in anger as his tears spilled over his flushed cheeks.</p><p>Once he decided he was done with his fit and it had started raining, he went inside. No one was home. His parents were on a date and wouldn’t be home for an hour. Ike was at a Canadian summer camp and won't be back until the end of the week.</p><p>He knew he needed his insulin but this was the perfect opportunity to crawl into bed and wish to die in a hole. Unfortunately when he got to his door, fate had other ideas.</p><p>“Kyle Broflovski.” Mysterion tossed him a Celestial Night Rose. “What’s troubling you on this beautiful night?” </p><p>“Just some friends being jerks is all” He shrugged, “What brings you to my little corner of the world?”</p><p>“I was doing my rounds around the town and heard about your little crush, I wanted to know why a cutie like you would like someone as dark and cold as me.” He spoke in that deep voice he knew Kyle had the hots for.</p><p>“I don’t believe you’re dark and cold. You care about the city and it’s people.” Kyle smiled, “I’m sorry you had to hear about my little crush. I don’t expect anything to come out of it.”</p><p>“I don’t mind your little crush. You never would’ve liked me in reality.” </p><p>Toolshed sat on the Broflovski’s roof, eavesdropping on the voices coming from the ginger’s open bedroom window. He felt betrayed. Kyle never even mentioned his crushes before tonight, let alone flirted with anyone. He definitely didn’t see Kyle’s crush on him coming. But he had to admit, he was a bit jealous. Kyle was his best friend and his damsel in destress. He probably saves him once a week on average. So why like a man-whore when you could have the boy next door?</p><p>“What’re you doin’ here, Super-Fag?” The Coon crept behind the hero; who was obviously not paying attention to his surroundings tonight. </p><p>“Waiting for something.” He replied absentmindedly, currently occupied with thinking about his best friend’s cute little quirks.</p><p>The Coon rolled his eyes, “Well I’m not. This is fucking gay.” He pulled a gun and glocked it, pointing it at the hero. “Night night.”</p><p>Stan turned around and instantly got shot in the chest.</p><p>The Coon jumped through the window then shot Mysterion twice in the back. Kyle barely made it to the doorknob before being shot in the neck with and passing out.</p><p> </p><p>He awoke in what looked to be an abandoned warehouse, tied down in a chair. He was tired, hungry and light-headed. The short boy didn’t have the energy to deal with this tonight. He was both physically and mentally exhausted. Plus he was sweaty.</p><p>“Well. Well. Well. Look who's awake and ready to play. How was your nap, Jasmine?”</p><p>“Sleeping Beauty.” Kyle weakly mumbled to himself, “Stupid asshole.”</p><p>“Whatever the bitch’s name is. I don’t care.”</p><p>Kyle sighed, ‘Where’s Toolshed?’</p><p>“Not talking anymore? Fine. I will.” “What’s so great about those other heroes? Nothing.” The fat ‘hero’ paced in front of him, “I mean one is a cocky ass-rammer and the other is a walking corpse. But me? I’m kewl. I have money and fans and actual moves while these losers are amateurs at best.”</p><p>“At least they do their jobs.” He snarled, “You on the other hand, are a rapist and a killer. No one is your fan.”</p><p>“I’m offended. I really am, darling. You can’t actually think I’ve done those things.”</p><p>“We both know you have, you sick bastard. Toolshed will find me and he’ll get you for this.”</p><p>“Oh will he now? Are you sure?”</p><p>“Yes. He’ll find me just like before. I’ll be safe by the end of the night.”</p><p>“Oh my poor darling. I’ve had you here for two days. Your body is weak. Couldn’t you tell? You’re gonna die soon.”</p><p>Kyle shook his head but it made him dizzy, “That’s not— not possible.” </p><p>“I’ve been shooting you with my tranq-gun to keep you sedated. You’re a feisty thing, aren’t you?”</p><p>“Just let me,” Kyle swallowed, “Let me go.” </p><p>His stomach was in knots and he needed water. Unfortunately, he knew his body was in the process of dying. He felt absolutely awful. Sweat was soaking into his clothes at an alarming rate, his head was throbbing and he felt the need to puke his guts out. He hung his head low and focused on breathing through the uncomfortable situation.</p><p>“Please let me go. I’m sick.”</p><p>“I know, darling. You’re gonna die in this chair with only me to comfort you.”</p><p>Toolshed broke into the fourth place he thought Kyle could be since he was taken and heard an evil cackle. He quietly kept to the shadows and spotted the redhead. He didn’t look good at all. His curls were drenched in sweat, which was alarming, considering the fact there was four feet of snow outside and no heaters in the building. </p><p>He watched The Coon lean down to place a goodbye kiss on Kyle’s lips. He tried to avoid it but he was too weak to fight him off. He felt absolutely miserable and The Coon wouldn’t let him breathe. </p><p>“Get off him.” A voice angrily boomed, “Get the fuck off him, Coon.”</p><p>The Coon groaned and pulled away, “Are you fucking kidding me? How the hell did this pillow biter find me?”</p><p>Toolshed ignored him and stepped out of the shadows, wielding his drill. He pointed it at the villain, “Back away with your hands up. I don’t have time to play this sick game with you. This kid is dying.”</p><p>“No shit. He’s obsessed with us. He wants to rape us and expose our identities to the city!”</p><p>“That’s bullshit and you know it.” The hero snarled, “Get the fuck away from him. Now.”</p><p>The Coon smirked as Tookshed glared, “You can’t shoot me when I’m this close to him. You’ll kill him if you do.”</p><p>The male in work gloves bared his teeth, “I will shoot you. You seem to forget I have an amazing shot. I’d just hate to take a life.”</p><p>“That’s the only way you’re gonna get my darling some help. Kill me. Kill me you fucking coward or I’ll shoot him!” The Coon took out his own gun and pointed it at Kyle’s head.</p><p>Toolshed didn’t hesitate to run forward and attempt to grab the gun from the villain, “You don’t wanna do this!”</p><p>“I think I do!”</p><p>The gun went off and red started to deep through the hero’s white shirt. He held his stomach with one hand and proceeded to shoot The Coon with his nail gun add-on for his dril. He made sure he wasn’t moving before putting the drill in the holster and rushing to Kyle’s side.</p><p>“Don’t— don’t go to sleep. I’m gonna get you help, okay? Please don’t pass out. It’s important.”</p><p>He picked up Kyle bridal-style and watched his eyes droop until they closed, “Come on, Broflovski, stay strong for me.”</p><p>There was a decision to be made as soon as they walked out of the warehouse. He couldn’t walk into Hells Pass with a bullet wound and a dying kid without getting revealed as his alias. He couldn’t take Kyle home because his parents believed Kyle was at a friend’s house. The only option was to take him back to his house to try and pump him full of insulin and fluids before he fell into a coma. </p><p>So Toolshed took Kyle back to his house and climbed through the window before laying him on the bed and hurrying to get the insulin kit he kept on his desk for Kyle. He took the cap off an emergency pen and stabbed it into the smaller male. </p><p>“Please be okay, Kyle.” He whispered and hissed in pain before grabbing his side and laying next to his friend. While trying to dig the bullet out with his fingers, he eventually passed out from loss of blood, holding one of Kyle’s hands to comfort himself.</p><p>Kyle woke up to the smell of blood and a pool of heat around him. He looked around a plain looking bedroom that he’s known his whole life and felt something gripping his hand. </p><p>He looked down and tilted his head then screamed in terror. Toolshed’s blood was looking around them on his best friend’s bed.</p><p>“No no no no.” Kyle weakly reached over the hero and turned on the lamp before pulling his shirt up to assess the situation. </p><p>He saw a bullet wound, a small one, but deep. He climbed over and wobbled to the desk to grab the tweezers they took from Shelly so she couldn’t fix her Unibrow and knelt down next to the passed out man before quickly praying to god that he knew what he was doing when he started to dig the bullet out of his hero.</p><p>Toolshed opened his eyes, immediately closed them, and groaned before he felt tiny hands on his face, “H-Hello? Did I get the bullet out?”</p><p>He opened his eyes again to see a wide-eyed Kyle, “How’re you doing now, Kyle?”</p><p>“You— you’re bleeding all over me. So much blood. I need to call an ambulance.”</p><p>“Wait Kyle. Don’t do that.” He sat up, “I’ll heal quickly. The bullet fragments just need to be  removed first.”</p><p>Kyle looked down at his shaking, blood stained hands, “Okay. I can do this.”</p><p>“Yes you can. It’s gonna be okay, Ky.”</p><p>Kyle visibly froze, “Oh god— Stan?”</p><p>Toolshed froze himself, “No.”</p><p>“Don’t lie to me.” Kyle whispered and slowly reached up to pull his goggles off, “Shit.”</p><p>“Ky, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”</p><p>“Oh my god you’re Toolshed. That’s why we’re in your room.”</p><p>“I will tell you everything after we get the bullet out.”</p><p>“Okay. I don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t wanna hurt you.”</p><p>“Kyle. I’m fucking Tookshed. You’re not hurting me.”</p><p>“But—“</p><p>“Dig it out so I can’t bleed to death.”</p><p>Kyle nodded and dug the tweezers into Stan’s stomach until he hit a foreign object and pulled the silver out. </p><p>“Great. You did so good.”</p><p>Kyle dropped the tweezers and hugged him, “What the fuck, Shed?”</p><p>The hero buried his bloodied fingers in Kyle’s curls and kept him close, “It’s a long story. A very long story.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me?”</p><p>Toolshed pulled Kyle away, “Let’s clean up this mess and let me change out of this bloody costume before my mom sees this first. After we get rid of this evidence, I’ll tell you everything.”</p><p>Kyle nodded and helped Stan stand up and let him collect some clothes while he began to strip the bed. Toolshed watched Kyle cringe from touching the warm blood and moved behind him to give him a quick hug and kiss on the temple.</p><p>“What do I do with the sheets?”</p><p>“Put them in the hamper and let me deal with them later.” He placed another kiss on his cheek, “Drink some water and eat a snack for me?”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“You almost died. We need to keep an eye on your insulin levels.”</p><p>“Please— go wash off. Blood is pressed against me and I’m really uncomfortable right now.”</p><p>“Sorry, Ky. I’ll shower now.”</p><p>Kyle nodded and went to hide the sheets in the hamper in Stan’s closet. He sat quietly on Stan’s bed and tried his best to sit still but he had a raging headache and was upset.</p><p>He dug through Stan’s nightstand and found pain medications among other pills. He grabbed the Aspirin and popped one for his headache. He felt gross. Some of the blood wasn’t dry and looked like he bathed in it. </p><p>He drank some water from Stan’s water bottle to wash it down and left a bloody handprint, “Is this a dream?”</p><p>“Nope.” </p><p>Kyle looked up at there his best friend stood, holding the top of the doorframe, shirtless and grinning at Kyle’s reaction, “Put on a shirt.”</p><p>“No can do. I don’t want my leaking bandage ruining any of my shirts.”</p><p>Kyle looked away, “I need a shower.”</p><p>“Pick out whatever clothes you want to borrow and go bathe then.” Stan laughed, “You know the drill.”</p><p>Kyle glanced at the yellow glasses and picked them up to examine them. He stood up and walked in front of Stan then wordlessly put them on him. Kyle titled his head to the left and Stan copied. Kyle opened his mouth to say something but got cut off with a small kiss.</p><p>“Are we gonna talk about how you said you wanted to suck my dick?”</p><p>Kyle’s face heated up, “No. It’s just a crush. It will go away.”</p><p>“Oh?” Stan grinned and narrowed his eyes playfully, “I think it won’t. I think you’re definitely confused right now but you’re starting to see that you don’t just like my secret identity.”</p><p>“You’re like a brother to me.” Kyle defended himself, “The only thing I’m confused about is the fact that I didn’t notice who you were.”</p><p>Stan hummed, “The glasses make my eyes look brown on purpose.”</p><p>Kyle nodded and turned to grab a jumper from Stan’s closet then an extra pair of boxers and sweatpants, “Excuse me.”</p><p>“Do you not like me because I’m— Stan? Did you think I was Craig?”</p><p>“No. I didn’t know who Toolshed was. I didn’t go looking but I’m sure if I wanted to, I could’ve taken your glasses off one of the many times I’ve had the chance.”</p><p>Stan clicked his tongue, “So what if I was some twenty-five-year-old guy?”</p><p>“Well, you’re not.”</p><p>“But what if I turned out to be that? What would you have done?”</p><p>“Thank you and promise to keep your identity secret? God— I don’t know. I wouldn’t have tried to do anything.”</p><p>Stan chuckled, “Kyle Broflovski you’re too pure.”</p><p>“Can I shower now?”</p><p>“Mhm” Stan smiled and reached down to give him a small kiss, “Thank you. For everything. You’re my hero this time.”</p><p>Kyle slowly nodded and glanced down at Stan’s lips before kissing him, “Please don’t tell my mom.”</p><p>“I won’t tell your mom you’re kissing a superhero. Not that I think she’d ever believe me.”</p><p>Kyle nodded, “Thanks. No offense but she hates you and Mysterion.”</p><p>“Oh I know.”</p><p>The redhead pushed his way past his friend and locked the bathroom door behind him. He looked at himself in the mirror and cringed. It wasn’t as bad as he thought it’d be but he was still covered in blood. </p><p>He replayed the night in his head and started sobbing. It’s been so much and he might’ve seen Stan kill somebody.</p><p>“You’re okay.” Stan mumbled and kissed his wet cheek, “Shhh.”</p><p>Kyle startled, “I swear I locked the door with you on the other side of it.”</p><p>The taller boy frowned and held up his drill, “I can get past any door. You’re crying so I want to comfort you.”</p><p>“Well I’m bloody and need to shower. And I good cry under the shower head might do me some good. It’s okay to cry.”</p><p>“But you don’t have to do it alone. We’re super best friends.”</p><p>“Yeah but I wanna shower alone.” He elbowed his friend’s stomach, “So get out.”</p><p>“It’s never been a problem for me to sit in here before!” Stan defended, “Why can’t I sit in here now?”</p><p>“Because I kissed you! I’m uncomfortable around you right now. So respect my privacy.”</p><p>Stan smirked, “There is nothing private under those clothes, Kyle.”</p><p>The redhead opened his mouth in shock and smacked his friend in the arm, “Shut up, Stanley before I yell rape.” Kyle hissed and pushed him towards the door, “Ugh! Move!”</p><p>The tall man laughed and crossed his arms, “I’m two-hundred and fifty pounds of pure mussel, nanotechnology and metal. You’re not gonna be able to move me.”</p><p>“Jesus Stan. They don’t mean actually eat metal when they say you need iron.”</p><p>“Hardy har har. You know I’m a little mechanical.”</p><p>“I do. It’s just weird because two days ago you were sweet Stan Marsh, fresh outta high school and wanting to be a cop. Now you’re a goddamn vigilante and I think you killed someone!” </p><p>“I lost my temper. You were gone for days. You could’ve been out of the country for all I knew. And when I saw you dying, I didn’t think. I just got angry and shot him. He might not even be dead. It’s just a few— nails to the head.”</p><p>“Jesus Christ, why did I kiss you? You’ve gone dark, Stan. That is fucked up. You’re supposed to help people.”</p><p>“I did it because I love you and I could’ve lost you. He was in the way, Kyle. I didn’t have time to fight him for an hour. I got shot and you were barely breathing.”</p><p>“That’s a thing villains say.”</p><p>“I won’t hurt anyone else again. You’re okay now. Everything is fine. I can go back to being the hero everyone adores and no one can blame me for killing the villain. Batman killed everyone! I killed for love.”</p><p>“Shit. What about the body?”</p><p>“No one will go looking there. It took me three days to even think about you possibly being there. I was about to come clean and help your mom file missing persons.”</p><p>“Maybe I should call the police. They’ll understand—“</p><p>“Kyle.” Stan put his hands on his face, “You aren’t gonna do anything. I’ll call HQ and tell them what I did.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“Okay.” Stan nodded and leaned down to kiss his nose, “It’s okay.”</p><p>Kyle sighed and leaned into his palms, “I’m torn.”</p><p>“About?”</p><p>“You.”</p><p>“What about me?”</p><p>“You— Toolshed, is one of my crushes.”</p><p>He chuckled, “Yeah.”</p><p>“But you’re my best friend. I’m not supposed to have feelings for you. It’s a recipe for disaster.”</p><p>“Well no. Since I’m both the hero and your best friend, you automatically become my Gwen Stacy.”</p><p>“Gwen Stacy died, idiot.”</p><p>“No she didn’t.”</p><p>“Yes she did. She died of whiplash when Peter tried to save her from her fall.”</p><p>“Okay…” Stan whispered, “So you’re MJ.”</p><p>“MJ died too.”</p><p>“How? There’s no way both died.”</p><p>“She got infected with radioactive cum.”</p><p>“That’s bullshit!”</p><p>“It’s not! She had sex with Peter and didn’t use a condom and he killed her.”</p><p>“When did that happen?”</p><p>“In the comics!”</p><p>“Which comic?”</p><p>“I don’t know. It was years ago.”</p><p>“She really died?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“Okay, well, you’re not gonna die.”</p><p>“All superheroes girlfriend’s die, Stan! I don’t wanna die.”</p><p>“Then we’ll get engaged!”</p><p>Kyle squinted at him, “Get out.”</p><p>“What? You said their girlfriends die so be a wife—“</p><p>“Get out you joking asshole.”</p><p>“Fine. I’ll see you when you get out.”</p><p>“Fine. And don’t come back in here while this door is locked or so help me god I’ll stab you.”</p><p>“I’ll heal in an hour.”</p><p>“That’s not the point. The point is, I’ll hurt you and you won’t be able to hurt me back because I’m fragile compared to your Hulk looking ass.”</p><p>“Wow. Rude.” Stan gasped.</p><p>“I said get out. I’m all gross and wanna get clean!”</p><p>“Fine! Sorry.” Stan stepped out and got the door slammed in his face, “Meanie.”</p><p>“I heard that.”</p><p>He jumped slightly and backed away, “Meh meh meh.”</p><p>“I heard that too.”</p><p>“Do you have fucking superhearing?”</p><p>“No. I just know you and you whine like a bitch when I yell at you.”</p><p>“Wow. You better be nice to me or I’ll— “ He paused, “I’ll kiss you until you’re nice again.”</p><p>Kyle didn’t reply and the shower started so Stan went to his room to pout.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yes, MJ died like that for real. 100% look it up.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Someone is on their period</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Superhero backstory</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So be warned that I haven’t had much sleep when I was writing this and my Kitten has GRACIOUSLY decided she wanted to tap dance on my keyboard so typos should be expected.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Stan grumbled to himself in his room and changed his sheets. Grimacing about the blood he has no idea how to clean. But for once, he thanks his mom for making him put a mattress protector over his bed. It kept the blood from staining the mattress and eventually saves him from the lie he’d have to tell to explain it. It’s a win-win.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After throwing his bedding in the washing machine and probably going way overboard on the Oxyclean, he grabbed a few packs of poptarts. He pumped Kyle full of insulin but it was only a temporary solution; he’ll need </span>
  <em>
    <span>actual </span>
  </em>
  <span>sugar for his body to process otherwise things will only get worse. The trouble is getting him to eat strawberry pop tarts when Stan </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows </span>
  </em>
  <span>he hates them. But Kyle hates everything. It’s in his nature.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, aside from all the anomalies happening tonight, what the fuck, Stan?” Kyle said as Stan reentered his room. Hair resembling a wet mop. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan pursed his lips and leaned against his dresser. “Which anomalies are we talking about?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Me having to remove a fucking bullet and you murdering someone.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That's it? That’s all you have to say?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well what do you want me to say, Kyle? I was shot, you took the bullet out so I could regenerate. The Coon might not even be dead.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>So it seems that we’re lying this morning, aren’t we?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle scowled. “You are a douchebag with a serious hero complex. You never thought to tell me who you were? We’re best friends!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I haven’t told anyone.” Stan defended. “And who wants to admit that they fucked around in their dad’s lab and got </span>
  <em>
    <span>superpowers?</span>
  </em>
  <span> It sounds like the plot line for a Rob Schneider movie!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But you could’ve told </span>
  <b>me</b>
  <span>. I’m your best friend.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And it was fun leading a double life.” He sighed, tossing the pop tarts at his friend’s lap. “Eat sugar. You look pasty.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle unwrapped the silver foil and frowned. “Ew.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just eat it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Fine,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he grumbled. “Start from the beginning. I’m talking </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘superhero origin story’.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan rolled his eyes and took another bite of his poptart. “I was like, fourteen, maybe fifteen. And, like, I was bored and wanted to see if I could make a stink bomb so I mixed a bunch of shit together and it spilled on me and, like, it burned like little knives and then that’s it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“What do you mean? </span>
  </em>
  <span>How did you figure it out?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well,” he started then frowned. “Uh, well, I started to heal faster. And stopped getting sick. And like, I felt different? Maybe I was fifteen. How old were you three years ago?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle narrowed his eyes. “I’m not even a year younger than you. Right on the cut-off.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay</span>
  </em>
  <span> so I was probably sixteen when I finally realised it. And Mysterion was kinda new and popular but he mostly focused on robberies and Chaos. I had finished watching Green Arrow so I wanted to be a vigilante too, ‘cause he was cool.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He hummed. “You’re losing me here.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay! I was </span>
  <b>
    <em>most-likely</em>
  </b>
  <span> sixteen. And I’m magnetic and heal quickly, yada, yada, yada. So that is my origin story.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope you never get a movie,” Kyle muttered with a scrunched nose. He had been eating his poptart without protest and regrettably so. “So fast forward a little to when fighting the Coon became your thing.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s just a douchebag and called me a little bitch so he became my enemy.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle blinked. “But </span>
  <em>
    <span>you are</span>
  </em>
  <span> a little bitch.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I am not! I took a bullet to the stomach for you!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And traumatised me for life!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He crossed his arms. “Consider us even. And you were all feverish and dying anyway.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle glared and leaned against Stan’s headboard. “And what did you think when I admitted to liking Shed and Mysterion?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I had an asthma attack, remember? That was so unexpected.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You show up and save me all the time! Is it really that surprising?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan scoffed (arrogantly). “Whatever.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle glanced at the tweezers on the nightstand and his scattered blood sugar kit. “Dude, this thing was like eighty dollars. Don’t leave it out of the case,” he scolded as he placed his blood glucose meter back into its case. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I was really jealous, you know?” Stan spoke up, tone becoming more vulnerable. “Like, why Mysterion?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know… His voice is attractive and he has a way of… </span>
  <em>
    <span>knowing things </span>
  </em>
  <span>that no one can explain.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But you can’t really see his face.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t need to, to like his persona.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan shrugged. “Still. Are you mad that it’s me and not someone else?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know how I feel about it yet. Because you’re attractive, yes, but there’s factors. </span>
  <em>
    <span>So many things</span>
  </em>
  <span> to think about and I’ve barely had time to process any of it.” He polished off his breakfast and tossed the wrapper away from himself. “And, like, I kissed you. But I don’t think I’m as okay with it as I’m acting. You’re two very different people in my life.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He slowly nodded. Starting at Kyle for any sign of, well, </span>
  <em>
    <span>emotion. </span>
  </em>
  <span>“But would it be so bad to see us the same? Because I was going crazy when you were gone. I wanted to talk about this but waiting made it harder on me. I was so worried I’d never get to reply to you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This isn’t fan mail, Stan. It’s like a crush but more than that. I never wanted to </span>
  <b>
    <em>actually</em>
  </b>
  <span> say something to Shed about this. And I did and I said stupid stuff and got kidnapped like a damsel and I was kissed by a jealous dirtbag and then did a botched surgery and I’m not okay. I just want to cry. It’s too much.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan pushed himself off the dresser and sat in front of him on the bed. “I’m really sorry, Ky. I know this is a lot. You’re allowed to cry if it’ll make you feel better or sleep. I’ll tell your mom you’re staying the night again.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know why I’m so exhausted. I’ve apparently been knocked out for three days.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It was more like one and a half.” Kyle gave him a nasty look. “Still. Let’s get you some water and I’ll let you be.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Dude, I don’t wanna be alone.” He scowled. “I think that would only make things worse. I have questions to ask and comments to make.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan shrugged, apparently indifferent. “Okay. I’ll get you water so you could get some H2O and then I’ll watch you cry, Kay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle scoffed but nodded along anyway. Determining Stan was trying to be the level-headed one. He only came off as an asshole. Nevertheless, Kyle was grateful. He almost feels irrational for not brushing things like this off. After all, shit like this happens in South Park all the time. People get murdered, people get kidnapped, lots of people have superpowers. Kyle used to believe Eric Cartman was </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually </span>
  </em>
  <span>psychic. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But now he needs to straighten out his thoughts. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Let’s summarise; He got kidnapped for </span>
  <b>two days. The Coon </b>
  <span>kissed him. </span>
  <b>Toolshed </b>
  <span>came to his rescue and murdered the </span>
  <b>Coon. </b>
  <span>He woke up in </span>
  <b>Stan’s bedroom </b>
  <span>beside the wounded hero and did a makeshift surgery. </span>
  <b>Toolshed </b>
  <span>was revealed to be </span>
  <b>Stan</b>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yeah.That sounds like all of it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He took a deep breath before rubbing his temples. Now let’s think about the questions he can answer himself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Why did the Coon kiss him? Because he was jealous.</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Why did he kiss Stan? Let’s skip this one for now… laters good.</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>How did the Coon find out about his crushes? Someone must’ve told him. (Probably Cartman.)</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Okay, good, Kyle. This is good. But his questions for Stan left his brain the second the boy returned with a glass of water. He took only a moment to stare at him before crying. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Luckily, Stan was always the one good at comforting people and laid next to him, patting his chest and opening his arms. Kyle happily entered his embrace and hid his face to muffle himself. His body still ached and his sinuses felt blocked. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan rubbed his back and shushed him. There wasn't much else he could do. He was already allowing himself to be snot on by his friend. </span>
  <em>
    <span>But</span>
  </em>
  <span> he did see why Kyle would be overwhelmed. It seems like a week of events happened in a single weekend. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He had his own things to worry about. The fact he </span>
  <em>
    <span>killed someone </span>
  </em>
  <span>isn’t something he could be fine with. He knows he broke his vow to protect citizens no matter the circumstance. The Coon went too far but Toolshed gave him what he wanted. He purposefully backed him into a corner. Still, there could’ve been a way to save Kyle and keep the Coon alive and kicking. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He feels like Superman, and not in a good way. He feels like the Superman that dropped his enemies off skyscrapers like it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>nothing.</span>
  </em>
  <span> It wasn’t sitting well with him. His chest was tight and his stomach was in knots. He was overwhelmed with guilt. Because he took another life. That was someone’s son. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t feeling like the hero anymore.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Although Kyle was alright. That brought a wave of relief that crashed against the guilt. Kyle was safe in his arms. Almost asleep on his chest. And for that, he felt a million times better.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan knew his feelings about this won’t fade over time. He thinks it’s fair. Because he can’t bring himself to </span>
  <em>
    <span>regret </span>
  </em>
  <span>what he did. Kyle won’t be kidnapped again. He’ll be safe from now on.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle was only sniffling now. Staring off into space and listening to his friend’s heartbeat. His curiosities invaded like a Trojan horse. At first it was just one or two but soon enough, his mind had a flash flood. One thought kept coming back to him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did it feel good? To kill your Joker?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He heard Stan’s heart race underneath him. “I was just thinking about this. But, I think in the moment, it felt good but after things caught up with me, it doesn’t feel so good.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded. “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I didn’t really think that you might also be freaked out.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay. You yell at me a lot. So,” he mused. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle smiled and rubbed his cheek against him. “Well it’s because you’re a little bitch.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey. I’d watch what you say to me, Ky. There’s an opening for my arch nemesis right now.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Sounds amazing. I’ll wear spandex and start calling myself Misfit.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh that is so hot.” Stan snickered. “Tell me more.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I’d have to tease my hair and then of course there’s the neon leg warmers.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Naturally,” Stan replied. Struggling not to laugh.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Mhm. Think like an eighties aerobics outfit with big hair.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Bigger than what you have now?”  Stan raised his eyebrow in amusement.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He grinned. “Yeah. </span>
  <em>
    <span>And </span>
  </em>
  <span>my power is taking everyone’s music away and changing it to Jimmy Buffet.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So evil.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh I know but that’s not all,” he sat up, “I’d tease you. You know, hurt your ego a little and always get away </span>
  <em>
    <span>just before </span>
  </em>
  <span>you could catch me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan hummed. Trying to remain serious. “I see. Well, I’ll have to get back to you after the other applicants. I’m a very popular guy, you know.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“ ‘Cause you’re a flirt. Which is amazing because you suck at flirting when you’re regular old you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He frowned. “Well it’s easier to be confident behind a mask. So much easier to be comfortable.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle slowly nodded. “So which is most realistically you?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, it’s Stan a hundred percent. I can’t cook, I’m clumsy, I forget my keys in the weirdest places and I’m kinda insecure. Toolshed seems flawless because he has to have no weakness.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He has flaws. He’s arrogant, mouthy and apparently has anger issues worse than mine in middle school.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well you fell for him so it must not be so bad.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah but I found out you’re a total loser that once fell face first out of his bedroom window trying to sneak out.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“My shoe got stuck!” Stan defended himself with a laugh. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah but it still happened.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever.” He rolled his eyes. Immediately stopping and looking at Kyle with an evil grin. “At least I didn’t say I wanted to suck my dick.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up, dude! I was mad!” He sat up completely. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh sure. </span>
  <em>
    <span>But it still happened,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he mocked, childishly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle growled at him and hit his chest with the soft side of his fist. Eyes growing wide like saucers almost immediately. He squeaked, “Ow.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan grabbed his hand and slowly spread open his fist. He hummed and asked Kyle to wiggle his fingers. Determining nothing was broken before laughing and calling him an idiot. Kyle quickly got over his pain and stumbled out of the bed to hit him with a textbook.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Asshole.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Ugh! Not the Maths one,” he cried out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle smiled. “Serves you right. You could’ve broke my hand.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fucking Toolshed! </span>
  <em>
    <span>You knew better.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well— I forgot.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He smirked. “Then it’s not my fault you forgot.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle glared and hit him again with the book. “Take some responsibility!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He dropped the book and squished his face. “You’re so infuriating, Stan!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan quietly looked up. Atmosphere changing from playful into something more serious. Of course his beautiful eyes were magnetic. The apologetic, adoring Puppy eyes Kyle’s known all his life. His breathing hitched. This was too real. He almost pulled away had his wrist not been held still. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Stan.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Kyle.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“…Can we make hot cocoa?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan’s eyes were burning a hole through his soul but he couldn’t break eye contact. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He had to do something. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He couldn’t even force his fingers to twitch. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He had to do something. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He was a statue. Maybe Stan’s hair was a pile of snakes and he didn’t realise it before now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t so much as yelp when he was pulled down against his friend. “Can we just kiss now?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle could feel his body flush. His unblinking eyes started to burn. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan tilted his head with a lazy grin. “Do you need CPR?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He whined. These personality swaps were going to be the death of him. The way Stan was looking at him was petrifying. Because he knew. He knew Kyle’s dirty little secret. He was purposefully being flirtatious like the side of the coin Kyle liked. But it’s different. Kyle could see the fear behind the smugness this time. No goggles to hide his other emotions. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Even the smile started to fade. Eyes completely hesitant now. Hands retracting from his waist. “I’m—“</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle finally regained his nerve control and crashed their lips together. Too rough to enjoy for either party but desperate enough to be reassuring. Stan groaned and pulled away.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Teeth. Don’t do that </span>
  <em>
    <span>ever </span>
  </em>
  <span>again.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded. “You were scared I didn’t wanna kiss you. I was just thinking that I could see past it now. Because you’re terrified.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well yeah. And you keep going back and forth because one second you like me and the next you don’t.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re acting different too,” he whispered, “and I have no idea what we should do, Stan. We’re a fucking mess.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan chuckled and shook his head. “I’m so not good at this. I just need to get a grip and be okay if I get rejected.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well do you like me?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I keep kissing you. I’m flirting. I got angry enough to shoot someone and I’m pretty sure it’s because he kissed you. He just did it and I felt robbed. The hero gets the girl. You’re my Felicity Smoak. My Iris West, Lois Lane, </span>
  <em>
    <span>MJ. </span>
  </em>
  <span>And he just took you!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle slid his palm over Stan’s jaw. “I thought we agreed I’m not a Superhero’s girlfriend? I’m not dead.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not the point, Kyle. Every hero has someone they do it for. Someone that they look at,</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>at the end of the day that makes it worth it. And as long as I could remember it’s been you. Because the town is safer if I do my part. You’re safer.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He pursed his lips and shook his head. “It’s so dangerous. You don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>have </span>
  </em>
  <span>to do this. I can’t have you risking your life so I can seem safer. I can buy a fucking tazer or something.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan was going to snap at him but he was crying. He wasn’t just being a prideful asshole. Though he might be </span>
  <em>
    <span>a little</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Kyle often is. Always getting into fights and insisting on doing it himself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you really think that’s gonna stop me? Because I get hurt sometimes? Kyle, I can heal a broken bone in hours. My bullet wound is gone. You don’t have that luxury. No one else has this luxury.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Goddamnit Stan. I just wanna punch you in the nose! You’re so stupid. I can’t believe I ever supported Toolshed. You were a teenager. You were my age and doing so much and I never took a second to think that you had homework or family stuff to take care of when you got home. You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>still</span>
  </em>
  <span> a kid! You can’t even drink legally.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He sighed through his nose. “You can be upset, I guess. I can’t stop you from being disappointed. But I am an adult. I mean, I can vote, be an organ donor, serve in the army. You can’t stop me from doing this and frankly, your hostility doesn’t faze me. Because I still get to look at you and know I’m right. Even if you don’t agree and look at me like I’m wrong.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle grit his teeth and sniffled. “You’re an asshole.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan nodded and rested their foreheads together. “I know you’re not mad at me. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I know. </span>
  </em>
  <span>You’re worried that I don’t know what I’m doing. That one day I won’t come back to you and that might be a little true. But I promise I know what I’m risking and it isn’t much. I’m not getting thrown through six buildings every night or getting shot. It’s mostly patrolling and rescuing damsels in distress.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He hiccuped and nodded firmly. “If you don’t make it back in one piece, I will kill you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t doubt it.” Stan almost laughed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Almost.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just don’t get shot again.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I promise.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Or thrown into buildings.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wouldn’t dream of it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle rolled his eyes and hiccuped again. “It’s not funny. I’m serious, dude.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He exaggeratedly scoffed at him. “Who says I’m not being serious? I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be beat up.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh please. You have titanium ulnas. </span>
  <b>And</b>
  <span> bench press well-over your own weight.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Almost six hundred pounds.” Stan grinned. “Aiming for seven this summer.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He narrowed his eyes. “Dude how many of your bones have been replaced?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Lots. Doctor T has put me under on all kinds of shit to do surgery. Did you know I’m immune to a lot of surgical Anaesthetics? They move through my system so quickly that he had to create one just for me. It’s crazy, Ky. I’m pretty sure I’m not really human anymore. I have these little robots too that constantly run diagnostics and control my pain tolerance.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You are so fucking crazy. Do you hear yourself? You’re like— a meta human and had plastic surgery.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well it’s so I can’t be hurt so easily. I still have a lot of normal things about me. Like my brain, organs—mostly—, some bones, my personality and my shitty memory.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle hummed and looked down at his lips. “Does doctor T know what he’s doing?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s psychic so he knows a lot.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He rolled his eyes. “He’s not omniscient.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan snorted and brushed their noses together. “I liked it better when you were fawning over me and not pissed that I’m basically a Star Labs experiment.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Well you keep digging yourself into a hole. Ignorance is bliss.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded. “I just don’t want you to think I’m lying or keeping anything secret from you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Speaking of secrets,” Kyle pressed a kiss to his top lip and pulled away from him. “We’ve established that I like you, right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He shook his head. “No. I remember asking you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He shrugged. “Oh, well I like you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan pushed him on his bed and rolled his eyes with a small grin. Take a moment to shake his head and fall back by his side. “You’re funny when you’re angry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Only because you can’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel </span>
  </em>
  <span>my wrath. And by the way, why do you still take Adderall if you can’t keep it in your system?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not regular Adderall. And I have ADHD, Kyle. I can’t believe you forgot.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh I didn’t. It’s very apparent when you bounce off the fucking walls and act like a little kid.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan scoffed and waved him off, as one does when Kyle says something snarky. “That was a long time ago.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kyle nodded along and turned to him. “And last week at McDonalds?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not fair. They had </span>
  <em>
    <span>Chimpokémon</span>
  </em>
  <span> toy happy meals.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh-huh. But Kenny and Cartman didn’t demand their favourite character.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He shook his head. “I work hard, okay? Let me have the two-dollar toy I want, dude.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, </span>
  <em>
    <span>okay.</span>
  </em>
  <span> I was just saying. It wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>that long </span>
  </em>
  <span>ago.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Stan snorted, refusing to turn and look at Kyle. No. He was the one being admired right now. The centre of attention. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kyle’s attention. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He wasn’t being yelled at or scolded. Kyle wasn’t missing. He could finally rest. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He passed out to teasing but it was the best sleep he’s had in awhile.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Let me know what you thought of my cracked chapter in the comments, feedback is the only thing keeping me going with these fics… 🤧</p>
<p>Anyone else think the song “One Week” by Barenaked Ladies is a style song? ‘Cause same.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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